Hello Friends, I am so glad to see that my daughter shared this story about our recent encounter with having to help my granddaughter understand a very important life lesson. I am not going to retype her part of the story, I will just tell you my side of what happened.
So I received a text message from my granddaughter telling me that she was selling candles for a fundraiser and would I like to buy one. As a grandmother, of course I want to support her school fundraisers, but I immediately had to slow myself down from saying yes and explain to her that grammie doesn't burn candles. She is a smart girl and she knew this already I am sure, since her mother and I have embraced a lifestyle in the last several years of eliminating toxins from our homes, but she is 11 and had her own agenda, which I hadn't immediately figured out.
It didn't dawn on me right away that she was trying to validate herself in the sale of these candles against her mother's wishes (my daughter). Our conversation began back and forth and I explained why I don't burn candles and I ask if she had spoken to her mother about it and what did mommy say? She admitted that mommy was not comfortable with her selling the candles but insisted that she felt they were not bad and that she felt they smelt really good!
I asked her why she wanted to sell the candles and she politely answered that she wanted to support her school (good reason) and that she wanted the prizes (as you will see in her mothers post all five below quality purchases ) My first inclination was to tell her that if she really wanted the bluetooth speakers that would last her a whole of 20 minutes, I would gladly buy them for her, but I refrained.
Our conversation continued with back and forth exchange and it was left with...maybe you should ask mommy why she feels so strongly about not burning candles in your house and why she doesn't want to expose others to what she is unwilling to expose you and your sister to. And it is okay to stand up and support those things that you have a true passion about and if you believe in something it is okay not to participate. We all need to prioritize what is most important to us. I was trying to get her to see that if she TRULY wanted to support her school she would be just as happy having us donate a dollar amount to the school, but it was clear the bigger goal was to get those bluetooth headphones LOL
There was a bigger lesson to be learned here and I was so glad that my daughter and I were on the same page and she was hearing this information from two totally different sources who had not communicated about this situation before hand.
Once our conversation was complete and she realized that I was not going to cave and buy the candles against what I believed, I contacted her mother and we had a little discussion about what had happened.
As a grandparent, I want to support my children and grandchildren but it is so important that they learn to understand the why's, not just that we won't do something to be spiteful or just because we said so.
I am so incredibly proud of my daughter for the way she is raising her children to think independently and even when they do not agree with her, she allows them to hear her side but she never pushes.
Children learn from those around them, they may believe they KNOW IT ALL, but they really just need to be taught to THINK for themselves and not just go with the flow.
Not thinking, not standing up for what we believe in or what we believe to be in our best interest is what has gotten this world we live in to the place that we are.
All this to say, as my Christina Snodgrass so beautiful outlined in her post below... Please Please educate yourself, we have come to a place where we believe the marketing, we don't question we just go... but if you really research what you are bringing into your home and exposing your family to you may just find the answers to why you are always feeling so lousy.
"Do yourself and your family a favor and do a little research on the things you use. Often times, small changes can make a huge difference. Don’t just assume something is safe just because it’s permitted to be sold. You are the keeper of your home and body."